happiest birthday lil bird
We are coming out of our haze. The shock is wearing off, although it surprises us every once and awhile. We are both finding it easier to write about what’s happening/how we’re doing than answering voicemails and even texts. [not that we don’t appreciate them – we do – we listen to and read them regularly] We have been asked to serve a role, a role we could never imagine or have the strength to endure. We have talked about this specific thing frequently over the last week. We have to be strong. We have to be present. We have no choice but to put our entire selves into this – if for nothing else but to give Birdie the strength and encouragement to fight. She is being asked so much more than us and right from the start – she is going to be a force.
The support we have received over the last six days has been humbling, incredibly so. We feel like we’ve been wrapped in a hug that circumferences the earth from South Africa to Maryland to Switzerland to California to Australia and all that’s in between – we know our family is loved beyond our comprehension. Our local Idaho “family” has been absolutely incredible as well – We can’t even put into words how blessed we are with relationship here. It has nothing to do with us – each and every person was handpicked to be in our lives for very specific reasons – reasons we now see falling into place with such precision – it’s quite surreal.
If I’m being honest, it’s been a chore to get started on this space. I have sat in the middle of the room countless times getting more and more frustrated. I tend to focus on all of the things I hate about it’s current state and yes, that helps because those items are the ones we change first, but it doesn’t make it any easier to picture it complete. The other afternoon I came home – Mick was outside with various tools I had not seen before and making quite a bit of noise. I stepped onto our deck and he was in a zone – major work/creative zone. He told me he was trying something – he had taken the leftover fence pieces from our gable wall, planed them down to their original red cedar and stained them this beautiful blue. After completing five or so pieces he nailed them to the outer wall, surrounding her picture window. I loved the look the planks took once stained, but was having a hard time picturing them as a statement in the space because – well – they were being attached to a pink wall and all the lighting has a soft orange hue. Since I had not come up with a single brilliant idea after all my time in that place – I went with it. Mick has since completed the entire wall and of course, it looks awesome.
Yep – I’m going here…
I think in some ways I was born an adult. I had my kid adventures – midnight plastic gun fights, fort building with garden hose swings, spelunking with little knowledge of what I was doing, and camping in the backyard. However, I was always the responsible one, always the rule follower and always the logical thinker. I saved my money, I had a job at age 12 and I organized the crap out of my mom’s office. At times I probably missed out on some key teenage milestones but whatever, most of them are overrated. Recently, I want to be 11 again, all 48 pounds of myself, tearing through the Tennessee woods with my plastic machine gun, dirt smeared face and black sweats. I want to tackle my cousin at the makeshift bridge and whistle as poorly as I do now to alert my brother of a mission accomplished. I didn’t have a care in the world and my biggest fear was forgetting my class schedule [of which I still have nightmares].
There are times in life we are reminded how exhausting adulthood can be. How daunting the future, in all its hiccups. Mick and I used to tread lightly but, last year we decided, lets dive in! Sometimes we didn’t even plug our noses. We are facing a new adventure, one we tripped into, no goggles or nose plugs – we plan to flounder and learn as we go. You are probably wondering what the heck I am talking about. Let me stop spinning in circles and spell it out. There is a Lil Litschewski arriving in 2015. Yup. You read that right – your jaw is probably on the floor, we are still collecting ours. A human, one that will resemble both Mick and I is set to arrive sometime at the beginning of the year. It was unexpected, although I’m now learning of the many people praying and willing it to be so. We are still absorbing the news – Mick is handling it much better than myself. Partially because he’s hasn’t been wearing motion sickness bands everywhere, living off corn tortillas and oyster crackers and crawling on the floor to get around the house – no one wants hurl on the new rug. He can also still wear regular pants, this is the biggest bitterness in our house at the moment.
I can currently smell everything in a 20 foot radius and taste every ingredient/chemical in food. This lil person is stealing all my energy along with whatever brain cells one needs in order to locate their pen, put together a color coordinated outfit and remember to wear a bra. I’m making this look awesome. The biggest blessing of it all is we have six more months to get used to the idea and pretend we’re ready. Pour a little out for me next time you have a delicious summer cocktail.