second guessing

I recently created a Facebook page for this little corner of my world. It took A LOT for me to do that – because even though you would think everyone who knows me, knows about this blog, you would be wrong. There have been many times this last week, since creating this page, that I wanted to take it all down, hide it away, run the opposite direction. In the last week I have interacted with acquaintances and shared things that I never ever would have said aloud – because I took a socially abnormal risk – being vulnerable. I have participated in meaningful conversations, and really weird ones since laying it out there, and by weird I mean, I was greeted with dead silence and shifty eyes. Like when you sit in a chair and it squeaks but sounds like a fart and you say, “ha, sorry, this chair is so noisy…” everyone assumes you’re covering up a fart…and if you say nothing, everyone assumes you’re covering up a fart…lose, lose. Anyways, For a split second I questioned my efforts, my openness, I felt insecure and exposed….and then I remembered…why do I care, they can divert their shifty gaze. My truth is my truth no matter who you are, and, I am still Misie – which means – I lovingly do not care if you like the way I’m telling my story. ** If it makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why? I earnestly hope it will help someone; that someday, if you ever face a trauma so earth shattering, you will remember our story, and if you need someone, we are always here.

** I am sure there is a more graceful way to say this – I am a constant work in progress when it comes to grace.

Thank you to everyone who has liked, read, shared this page – It means a lot that you not only comprehend my ramblings, but follow along. If you know anyone who may benefit from reading our story, please feel free to share. We all have a story, this one is mine.

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