This is what happens when I try to step outside my Misie shaped bubble and convince the world I am a real girl.
The other day a kind man bought me a drink. I don’t know why. I did not know him nor had I ever seen him. He handed me the drink, when I offered my card he said, “don’t worry about it.” I was shocked, my eyes widened and I squeaked, “are you sure?!” He smiled wide and nodded yes, as I fumbled, almost knocking over the free beverage, he grabbed my attention again, “the proper response is ‘thank you’…” totally embarrassed and getting clumsier by the second, I sheepishly smiled and thanked him. I was nervous to even take a sip, he obviously may have been attempting to human traffic me, but I also couldn’t compartmentalize why he offered such kindness. Does this happen to normal people? Yes, and they handle it ten times better!
The awkward hug you didn’t realize was awkward until eight hours later. You are seeing people you have not seen in a very long time. You cannot figure out whether the statute of limitations has passed on whether you know them well enough anymore to give hugs when saying hello. There is a grey area where it should be socially acceptable because it’s been years, but at the same time, you do not know them anymore.
They walk up to you (at least you think they are but now you cannot remember if they even made eye contact with you); you smile and their arm goes out toward you. Your stomach settles – oh ok, this means they want a hug – so you go in, like ALL in, both arms squeezing tight (might as well have closed your eyes, breathed in deep and threw in a back rub), however, you realize they were possibly only offering a side hug. As you back away, hoping they did not notice you smell them, they are looking in a completely different direction. Hmph – that is weird – maybe someone called their name? You turn and notice everyone is very serious – like praying over dinner serious. Wait was it a hug?! Oh.No. It wasn’t even a side hug!!!! Were they actually waving to someone, sniffing their armpit, stretching!? Introvert.Nightmare. The worst part – I will never know because introverts do not ask the follow up questions, especially if they know it will lead to further embarrassment. I will soon be that person at parties who says, “I’m going to hug you now.”
*Places hand to face, whispers…oyyyyy*